Give me strength
Sleeping last night was a nightmare, waking up every 2 hours or so to shift my arm and try to find a position where my shoulder didn’t hurt so mad. Went to get it massaged today, and the massuer was quite alarmed at how it was swollen. She managed to bring it down quite a bit and increase mt range of motion, but said it would take a couple of days and maybe 2 more sessions to really fix it. She said that if the pain and swelling persists for a few days I should go get it checked in case it’s more than just a muscle injury…Haven’t had any shoulder injuries for months, the pain is scary yet familiar, I hope it’s nothing serious though.
Post tourney, there’s so much to think about. For Ee Ghim, Weiliang, myself, for the team. Where and how we’re gonna move from here… Tutorials due this week, lab and FYP meeting, 10% assignment due on friday and then there’s DK chalet. Personal issues tear at me no matter how much I thought I’ve laid them down. I wish there was some way to be disconnected so that I wouldn’t have to see things that sting me. Maybe it’ll boil down to that in due time, I don’t know, I don’t know anything anymore.
I try my best to support them, it’s always hard at the top. People just don’t understand…How much it takes a toll on them, I can feel it too. I’m tired too, but I know they need the support and comfort. Lester asked for help with some engin stuff, ran it through with him, I remembered that feeling of wondering how the hell I would make it through my studies…
I feel the weight, I feel the crumbling inside, I feel sick of everything… But I know I need to be stronger; for them, for me, for things that nobody will probably remember or care for at the end of the day. Gonna have to really dig deep to find it within me… I wish there was someone who cared enough, who was able to see the same things, but well, that’s just wishful thinking…
Dig deep, so fucking deep
