Anomalus Scribblings

It’s scary…

MK — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:24:14 +0000

how fast time can pass
how someone can say they need time alone, but mean they want time alone with someone else
how someone you trusted and give so much to can walk away just like that
how they probably never meant anything they ever said
how they just used you and then moved on with someone else when they were done
how, in front of everyone else, they can act like nothing happened
how they can still try to sound nice to you
how you realise you find it hard to believe or trust anymore
how you think you’ve already let it rest but things you see still irk you

Maybe someday I’ll be able to find it within me to write again, but till then, this place is dead…

From here…

MK — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 16:57:00 +0000

Just so much has been going on, I don’t have much motivation to write about anything these days… I guess saying that I sold my life to the team is pretty much the best way to describe things. Maybe it’s pretty good timing for all this demands since just a few months when life looked pretty good, everything just came crashing. Maybe some day I’ll find a reason to start caring about my own personal life again. But at least for this final year, rebuilding this team will be my focus.

The weekend course with Greg Connelly has been really good, reinforcement and highlighting of many coaching philosophies and pointers that are very important (and sometimes taken for granted). Learnt a few new drills that allow for so much considering how they can be tweaked both up and down to cater to players for varying levels. It’s also been nice hanging out with the other ulti players and esp the DK guys at the course and for the post course activities. Dinner and catching Friends With Benefits on saturday night and just chilling at Timbre on Sunday night… Good times Even more fired up to see the team change over these few months! Can’t wait to start training again man!

Really can’t wait to go for Vietnam Hat in December, and seriously considering Manila as well. Ben made Manila sound like a really good experience and since Zhefei is interested as well and don’t mind even if we float for other teams!

Good buys, goodbye $$

MK — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 23:55:34 +0000

Mishaal got such a steal, he was showing us his F50 (top grade) that he got for only like 60ish! It was especially discounted cause it was the last pair for size 12. There was also an ongoing sale where if you bought 4 items and above, everything would be 40% off. Since it was discounted I thought of getting another pair of boots since I keep slipping while using the mercurials. Amir wanted to get a pair of running shoes as well so we went down together. We have to change buses at one point and it was really near Toa Payoh so Amir asked if I wanted to go down to the TSW warehouse to look at the supplements. We decided to go getting our shoes.

Was really tempted to get the top grade since it was only ard 130+ instead of 220+ and it’s was really much lighter than the F30, bit sadly there wasn’t my size so I had to go with the F30 which was only 70ish. Amir found a shoe that was 80 before the 40%, really dirt cheap! We bought bought a pair of sandals to make it 4 items. Just nice too since my slippers from Bangkok are dying =/

We went down to the TSW warehouse after that to take a look at the dented units for amino acids that were going at a discounted price. No issue with the dents since they were probably from handling issues and anyway the products were in powder form. We each bought some other stuff and then I figured I might was well get membership. It came with a towel and a mixing bottle, which I needed since I threw my old one away. Plus there was a 10% discount for walk-in purchases on your birthday for regular priced items (the dented units didn’t count) and what we were buying was already over 100, it would more than cover the cost of the membership. Can’t wait for SUO to be over and for my shoulder to be back at 100% so I can start a regular training regime again, haven’t been on one since injuring my back just before year 3. Excited over the planning of seniors training as well, I just really hope people turn up so we have the numbers to run the drills.

Give me strength

MK — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:53:13 +0000

Sleeping last night was a nightmare, waking up every 2 hours or so to shift my arm and try to find a position where my shoulder didn’t hurt so mad. Went to get it massaged today, and the massuer was quite alarmed at how it was swollen. She managed to bring it down quite a bit and increase mt range of motion, but said it would take a couple of days and maybe 2 more sessions to really fix it. She said that if the pain and swelling persists for a few days I should go get it checked in case it’s more than just a muscle injury…Haven’t had any shoulder injuries for months, the pain is scary yet familiar, I hope it’s nothing serious though.

Post tourney, there’s so much to think about. For Ee Ghim, Weiliang, myself, for the team. Where and how we’re gonna move from here… Tutorials due this week, lab and FYP meeting, 10% assignment due on friday and then there’s DK chalet. Personal issues tear at me no matter how much I thought I’ve laid them down. I wish there was some way to be disconnected so that I wouldn’t have to see things that sting me. Maybe it’ll boil down to that in due time, I don’t know, I don’t know anything anymore.

I try my best to support them, it’s always hard at the top. People just don’t understand…How much it takes a toll on them, I can feel it too. I’m tired too, but I know they need the support and comfort. Lester asked for help with some engin stuff, ran it through with him, I remembered that feeling of wondering how the hell I would make it through my studies…

I feel the weight, I feel the crumbling inside, I feel sick of everything… But I know I need to be stronger; for them, for me, for things that nobody will probably remember or care for at the end of the day. Gonna have to really dig deep to find it within me… I wish there was someone who cared enough, who was able to see the same things, but well, that’s just wishful thinking…

Dig deep, so fucking deep

Focus!

MK — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 07:42:04 +0000

Running between 101 things right now, my mind is all over SUniG, SUO with Whites, settling the $$ from jerseys and discs since my account is almost flat, pushing for Ultimate at IHG (Mondster helped write a proposal for UPA to provide coaches just like the JC scheme they did last year, hopefully it’ll take off!), vocal class and getting my body fixed… Week 4 in school already, 2 weeks to recess week, have a mid term and 2 assignments due in time. FYP prof is asking me to go down to the labs and try the software asap too, really gotta keep focused despite the many things going on!

Focus.Discipline.Balance

Lost

MK — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 02:08:05 +0000

Last week I was feeling all good and powerful again, able to train, even for for the AOUC trials all ok. Yesterday the pain became sharp again and today just getting out of bed and transiting between sitting and standing was really bad.

Should I just give up the thought of AOUC this year and find a way to train long term without these constant problems? God help me.

Balance

MK — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 08:30:29 +0000

Just like last year, Ben called out players during training and told them about their individual areas leading up to SUO. For me and Tiang, it was about our injury status. The deal is that we’ll be playing with DK B, but any injury in the weeks ahead and we’ll be down to help with Young Knights instead. Derek said we’ll have to strike the balance between pushing ourselves and staying injury free, and that he’s worried about our legs.

At the end of the AOUC trials Weiliang talked to me as well and said that they’re all worried that I might get injured again. He also said that they could tell I’m sometimes holding back and not going in as hard as I used to cause my injury/fear of injury holds me back somewhat. He understand cause he’s been there before, and said that it’ll take time before I can really be back at 100%. I guess I’ll just have to bear with it for now…

AOUC trials went pretty average, but it did highlight to me areas I needed to work on and areas I’ve improved in. That’ll give me some direction for post SUO and on towards IVP.

Busy, ulti.

MK — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:26:34 +0000

Been so busy recently I hardly blog anymore. This sem is gonna be much more than I thought it would be, and I’m really gonna have to be disciplined with managing everything. But right now my heart and mind is just all about SUniG. AOUC trials and SUO is not on my mind in the extent that SUniG is.

All the strategies we discuss, individual strengths, weaknesses, direction, lines, contingency plans… The increasing of playing intensity both personally and as a team… I can really feel the competition coming and I really feel the hunger to playing a competition while being 100% again. I miss that so, so damn bad. The rush, the intensity, the all-out feeling. I’m going for the kill.

It’s all about respect, AOUC

MK — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:59:47 +0000

Went down to the UPA EGM today instead of the Dim Sum & Durian outing with NUS. As much as I wanted to join the rest, I also felt a responsibility towards attending the EGM, made worse by the fact that nobody from NUS ever attends any of this kind of stuff. It’s something I hope to develop before I graduate, that NUS will be more involved in ultimate as a whole in Singapore. Go down to AGMs, knowing what’s going on and contributing to voting etc, while also mixing and getting to know players from other teams.

One of the things covered at the EGM was with regards to AOUC and Osaka (Worlds). As expected the focus is on the mixed team, but there was also an announcement from the organisers that players can only play in one team as the games will clash. Setting my target for the Opens team since mixed will be rather crazy. I wish I could volunteer as some kind of admin position and go watch Worlds and follow the team and learn more about coaching, team management and player development.

Guess it was a good thing I went down since Mondster was frantically trying to setting our NUS disc design so the mass order of school and club discs carry on. Printing of our artwork encountered many printing difficulties so they kept getting back to Mondster to change our design. Thankfully Mondster has been helping us with the editing and at a much lower cost than what discraft would have charged us. Stayed back after the EGM and hung around with Ben and some of the other DK players as we talked about various things, mostly on teams and coaching since we were on the topic of the Xiaolun and Almo taking over as NYTP coaches and schools looking to introduce ultimate. Ben asked me to travel and experience more so that I can be ready to take on a team by myself. He said that I’m almost ready to coach a team but still a bit raw. Another thing we talked about was player-coaches. One of the most important things was that they not only have a high level of experience and knowledge, but that in their playing they can also command respect. Only then will they truly be able to coach their players and not get adverse outcomes when they have to step in and get hard on players for their mistakes or when they step out of line. People need to really view you as being of caliber and knowing what you’re talking about before they listen to your advice and instructions.Which is a very necessary part of coaching, much as it may be unpleasant to have to get hard on them. It’s one of the things I really don’t like to have to do and don’t do very well, as much as I recognize it’s importance. Oh well…

Wahhh

MK — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:21:28 +0000

Felt some degree of pain in the morning, but nothing that really hindered me from walking or anything. But it seemed to get worse as the day went by, when we went to the fields from the fair I couldn’t pivot. It felt like my right butt/hip would collapse under the weight. Stayed on for training to help watch and call from outside. But soon it got so bad I couldn’t even walk properly, any amount of weight put on my right side sent sharp signals of pain. The walk up to A4 has never been so painful. I pray I wake up feeling ok.